Dani Shelley, 40, a sexual abuse survivor and a local home owner, with a career in digital forensics, is shocked and looking for help, facing a charge of domestic battery while thinking of suing the Sparks Police department.
After moving here several years ago from Portland, a relationship she had with a diesel mechanic nine years younger than her, who works locally on freight trucks, has turned into a physical, emotional and legal nightmare.
After trying to get him arrested for what she says was rape, she’s the one now thrown into the court system for punching him in the face. She’s been frustrated every step of the way in trying to get him arrested, but now is facing her own pre trial hearing in early June.
Her Move to Sparks
Her move to Sparks initially came about when she decided to leave Portland during the pandemic.
“Everything went crazy and my neighborhood just got super dangerous. I got tired of hearing gunshots all the time and picking needles out of my yard and thought, ‘I need to get out of here.’ And I don't know. For some reason I picked this area,” she remembers. “And the cost of living is lower and the weather's better and the crime is way lower. So I bought a house out here and then sold my house in Portland and came out here.”
She met her ex online, making sure it was clear with him she wanted a serious long term relationship.
“He basically does this thing called mirroring where he's trying to mirror exactly what I want or what I am like so that I feel comfortable with that,” she then realized.
A Relationship Gone Horribly Wrong
She says she contracted syphilis from him in 2022, and had to get costly treatment in a hospital. After they had broken up, one night in August 2023, she says he texted asking to come over and cuddle.
His visit she says then turned into rape, with him allegedly hitting her and forcing himself into her without protection. She says as a victim of sexual abuse during childhood she just froze up, but that he knew what he was doing was “disgusting.”
“If somebody is doing something that I don't want, I freeze. I can't do anything,” she says. She says she bled and was in pain for three days.
She then recorded conversations with him about it she says, trying to get him to understand. “I was like, look, we need to discuss this because that was rape,” she says.
She alleges she found out his ex-wife and others in his life have gone through similar abuse with him.
“For a long time I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Like, he just doesn't know. He doesn't know any better or whatever, which is insane. But, you know, I was like, look, you need to understand what was wrong about this and you need to get help because at the time he was actually in therapy,” Dani told us during a phone interview this week.
Punching Her Ex in the Face and Breaking Her Hand
In late November, after she says an unprompted visit by her ex led her to break her hand punching him in the face, she got a meeting with Sparks police which was set up by a victims organization she had contacted for help. She didn’t want to name the organization feeling frustrated in how the process unfolded.
In explaining the broken hand she gave us this account in a follow up email: “He was purposely trying to cause severe emotional distress (as 'punishment' for being rightfully upset with him about what he put me through) and was continually telling me to hit him. I did, and I expected him to hit back, which he didn't do. I suspect my hand broke because he turned his face away and my fist landed on the side of his head. He did not have any visible injuries, was still walking and talking fine, and was able to drive home…. I suspect the reason I broke a bone is because of my existing health issues. While I have never had a bone density test, as I heard it's hard to get insurance to cover it, I have been on medication for a long period of time that is known to cause osteoporosis, especially with long term use (depo provera birth control, which I used to control my PMDD symptoms). The fifth metacarpal was fractured all the way across.”
She says she found out from others he had used a possible technique of entrapment on them as well, to seek out to be victimized.
During her meeting with police, her goal was to file a report for sexual assault for the alleged rape in August, but instead she felt she was the one being targeted.
“From the very beginning, when they were taking my report, they did not act like they [cared about] what I was saying,” she remembers.
Trying to get Her Ex Arrested
An officer took photos of her broken hand. “I was defending myself and I did readily admit to that and the police,” she says. After the meeting, she was told she could send electronic evidence she had concerning her complaint of sexual assault.
“So they had sent me a link to my email to upload it. And originally they sent me a link and then I was only able to upload 25 pieces. So I called back and I was like, ‘hey, I have a lot more. Where can you send me another link?’ So they sent another link and I put another 25 pieces.”
Dani says she uploaded video recorded conversations, text messages and emails.
Her career in digital forensics came in handy. “Our clients are law firms and corporations. We handle evidence that's going to be used in court cases that are mostly white collar crimes.”
Part of what she recorded, she says, and submitted, was him allegedly admitting to hitting her during the rape. “When I ask why he hit me, he describes the reason for doing it as an ‘impulse’ he had and could explain no further,” she wrote in an email.
Getting Arrested Herself
While waiting for months for her ex to be charged and arrested, after inquiring relentlessly about it to different local offices, including Sparks police, she found out in early March she was the one with a warrant now against her, launching her into a new tailspin of calls and queries.
“Instead of responding to me, they sent Sparks police out to my house to arrest me. It was a Monday morning,” she remembers. “They came to my house. I was like in my slippers and shorts and a tank top, and they pulled me out of my house and put me in handcuffs and took me to jail. And I was like, ‘What is going on?’”
The arrest itself was harrowing.
“I have many physical health issues and wanted to note my left thumb is still completely numb from nerve damage I sustained from being handcuffed so tight the day they came to my house to arrest me,” she wrote to us in a follow up.
Going to Jail and Discovering the Charge Against Her
She spent half a day in jail before bailing out, which with additional charges and a credit card advance fee cost her about $1700.
She says she finally saw the complaint against her when she was arraigned the next morning.
The document signed on March 11th and filed on March 14th in Sparks Municipal Court indicates that on or about about August 16th, 2023, in the vicinity of her home on E Street, she struck her ex with a closed fist.
“It alleges I punched my ex in August last year, which I can prove did not happen. In fact, this is the date I told them he sexually assaulted me,” she says, hoping the listed date will prove her innocence. “I can prove I broke my hand in November, not August. I am hoping this will be enough to get the case against me thrown out, but in the meantime I'm suffering from a lot of trauma from the whole situation. At this point I'm looking for any assistance I can get.”
Seeking her Own Safety and Justice
She’s been appointed a court appointed lawyer but hasn’t been able to meet with him yet.
“I’m looking for an attorney to sue the police department, but so far I have not been able to retain someone. I'm very concerned for my personal safety and my future at this juncture,” she wrote to Our Town Reno in her initial email.
She’d like to see the bodycam video of her meeting with police as well as those of her ex. She’s also thinking of suing the city of Sparks.
“I think I have plenty of evidence to prove that they've completely mishandled my case and they're aware of it and they've been aware of it and they refuse to make it right,” she alleges.
She believes discrimination may be at play as well based on her appearance.
“I have a mohawk, my head is tattooed, I have piercings. I'd say I stand out,” she says.
Dani hasn’t dated since and has grown increasingly untrustworthy of the world around her. “I can't trust anyone in my house. I've had a couple people spend the night here. Even if somebody is in my house, like I cannot sleep… I can't be around people like that. Three weapons are next to my bed,” she said.